Littleescapoligist!

Hello people! Yeah I've been missing like 2 months plus already. Been busy with work plus the exam. Speaking of my exams. My exam is finally over and results are out. I manage to pass every module but not pass with flying colours. Anyway life been a mess for me. Whereby I have no time at home. Plus during the Hari Raya, I'm grateful that my family is reunite as one. Thats a good start for me. Everything is falling back in place. School is going to start soon and I'm not prepared. Don't ask why. I just feel weird. Right now, my mind is blank. Got nothing to say.

So here you go. That's my beautiful family in blue for the 1st day of Raya. I'm proud to say that my family is really happy right now compared to few years back. Won't elaborate much on that part. Anyway, my long lost cousins have finally reunite with us which makes me even happier. I just love this year Hari Raya. FINALLY its that kind of feeling where you are satisfied after 1 month of fasting. I feel blessed. Thank you Allah for what you have given me. I'm just happy that I have a mom and dad who could understand a stubborn, reckless, teenager like me and my siblings. Thank you!

Well this pic above is where I usually spent time now. My WORKMATES. They are the awesome people who never fails to make me laugh with either their stupid jokes or their bimbo moments which never fails to cheer me up. For all I know, I didn't have a good chemistry with them last time. And now, I'm just happy with where I stand right now. Maybe luck is on my side right now. But happiness doesn't stay that long. I just hope that this will never change. I just love them dearly.

I'm currently happy with him. Yes, I agree there are ups and downs along the way. But he never fails to make me smile again. The way he hold my hand, the way he looks at me when I'm looking somewhere else. He makes me feel love. But he ever ask me this "Do u love me?" And I answer a simple "Yes" He sound disappointed in a way that he was not satisfied with my answer. He is like a puzzle to me. He always give me clues on what expectation he wants and then just leave it hanging. Sometimes I'm just clueless. Or I should admit I'm dumb. He does not only wants me to love him, but appreciate every single detail that he is trying hard to make me notice him. Which I fail to do so. That's when I realise after reading Atin's blog. My boifee makes me think. But not just think one way, but in different types of ways. He makes my brain function faster while my heart beats harder. Maybe we girls have been complaining much when our partners have already did something sweet for us. Every single detail counts for them. But we girls, didn't realise it cause we want more.

Oh my god. How could I've been stupid when boyfriend was helding out his hands all these while, I was just blinded by my own wants. Which make me blinded by his good deeds.

Dear boifee,

I'm sorry to be such a fool to be blinded by your kindness all these while. When I was busy envy other girls, getting what they want from their partners, you were busy trying to grab my attention. I know u've told me that you're not romantic and stuff. And yes I agree to it. But I'm sorry for my foolishness not to see a tiny effort that you've put through for me. I thank you for that. And I appreciate all you've done. And I'm sorry for all the things I said like "Why you won't notice me." or "Why won't you treat me like your GIRLFRIEND instead of your other girl friends?" You even said sorry after that. Even you knew it wasn't your fault. I'm sorry my love. I'm really sorry...

Asiteru ♥♥

Aliff อำนาจ

Labels: Stupid me.

LinaLEE(AnaTAZURA)

Can I just update nonsense today since I haven't yet receive the National Day pictures. Anyway, speaking of National Day, it was fun at the beginning, chaotic at the middle part then a blast at the end. That's all all I could say. well certain people disappoint me in a way. Not only 1 or 2. But actually there's more. Moving on, the picture above represent my soul which is Tokio Hotel. Whoever finds that the singer is gay or whatever shit, you guys can SUCK your own bloody DICKS! Yeah that's right! At least they're famous now. While you still searching for your own self. So yeah, as I was saying, I just miss them at SINGFEST which

falls on 4-6 August. But I want them to come down at Singapore to really have their OWN concert somewhere like Indoor Stadium or something!! GAH!! PLS COME BACK Tokio HOTEL!!

So most of you should know that I'm happily attached to this guy here. Won't tell you what's his name. If you know than good for you. If you don't find out your yourself. Nyahahahaa! I'm just blessed to have him by my side. He makes me smile, and makes me laugh non-stop. Not forgetting to make me piss. But that's relationship. You have to face ups and downs. I find it nonsensical if a couple doesn't fight. Seriously, it will turn out boring! So my boifee here thought me a lot of things in relationship. It may not be perfect. But that's the main point actually.

Well boifee thought me how to be independent not to be depend on others that much. Plus he thought me how couples should not meet every single day because they will intentionally get bored. Instead, couples should sometime feel missed with their partners. Well, I think I shouldn't type out some certain stuff about boifee cause everyone has their own strength and weaknesses. And I shouldn't type about boifee's flaws right here. Its just bad. That's all. But the truth is I haven't meet boifee for like 4 days and including tomorrow its gonna be 5 then plus the next would be 6. I don't know when we will meet but I just let fate decide.. Cause love is full of mysteries..

There's a saying:

If you can read it says: This isn't the time to make hard and fast decision. This is the time to make mistakes and take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love.. ALOT. Major in philosophy cause there's no way, to make a career out of that. Change your mind and change it again. Because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again, what we want to be, we don't have to guess. We'll KNOW.

-Jessica Stanley.

Labels: He's my infinity.

LinaLEE(AnaTAZURA)

Hey ho!! Yeah! Its been long time since I update my blog again.. My birthday was a blast thanks to ...... Heehs.. I did have fun. Thanks people for those birthday wishes. People still owes me presents. Nyahahahaha! I know I'm bad. Anyway life's been great if I have to put aside my projects and school work. Like someone said, I'm slowly progressing steadily with life. Meet new people, new friends and more. Currently I'm attached! Supposing to keep it a low profile thanks to boifee. He just want people to know by themselves. So I'm like officially attached? Wow! Me and boifee were even surprise ourselves. Feeling kinda weird and stuff and all the shits that's going through our minds. Yes I'm attached but I won't say who. Whoever knows, keep it to yourself.

Finally!!! The event is freaking over! Right~ Actually not truly over but 40% of it is. Yeah nonsensical it is. Actually I already update how we've been through on my previous post. So I just uploaded this pictures here. More pictures, just go to my facebook.

Labels: Be my sexBOMB hunny~

LinaLEE(AnaTAZURA)

Alright. Firstly, Apologies for not updating my blog. Cause I'm freaking busy with EOP. Seriously I've been facing shit and craps all day long. Actually the whole group of mine face the same shit as well. Listening to criticism, bad remarks by some of the lecturers.We almost give up. But nope we didn't thanks to some of my group members who still have that lil faith in our group which make us look strong from the inside out.

Today was a total mess actually. All was done last minute. My lecturer kept telling me that our booth was the only one left that is yet to be done. While the other groups are almost done with their booth. The rest took almost the whole day to construct the booth while we took like almost and hour to complete it. Of course thanks to Aisah, Shahril and An who have been keeping awake most of the time to complete the task. Well the rest of the members did some work too. But not that much. Hahahaha! Still, each and every one of us contribute something and that keeps us going.

This is only the beginning and tomorrow is the big day. We're so gonna prove the rest of the lecturers wrong even though that we've been causing them a lot of trouble. I'm blessed to have them. Even though we may face hardship but that is what teamwork is. We face ups and downs together.

Anyway,moving on to my life, I'm left with 2 more days and I'm 19. There's nothing fcuking special about being 19. I just feel that I'm getting older day by day plus I've gain weight like 3 to 4 kg. How FCUK up is that. So tell me, why must I be so happy about that? So what if my birthday is coming. Its just that one special day, than that's it! Nothing could be spoken off right now. Well, Aisah birthday is the same as me! And I'm happy that her boifee is bringing her out for a special day! Woot Woot~ All the best girl!!! Stay happy always!!! Alright! I think I wanna go outside and help the others cause the truth is, I'm at Shahril's house having a slumber party! (IN YOUR DREAMS BITCH!) Neh!! Actually, we're trying to do the final touch at Ril's house than sleepover! Hell yeah! My life is soo gonna be ruin!! NOT!

Labels: As I'm always that dumb bitch for once, I admit to be one~

LinaLEE(AnaTAZURA)

Hello, hello, hello! Kinda bored right now, so might as well I update my blog or else SOMEBODY would complain to me. Anyway I'll start with what I did yesterday than I'll update the latest one which is today.

So yesterday, bestie pick me up from work. Sweet right? I know! Hahaha! Anyway, after work, we had dinner at Mac Donalds. Talking about YOG and how he survive during that day. How I wish I have the chance to participate in YOG. But its ok cause bestie told me that he has 4 free tickets for the opening ceremony and 2 tickets for closing ceremony. I chose the closing ceremony. But I don't know who should I bring along with. Hmmmm.. Anyway, after eating like one fat pig, we decided to cam whore which is our normal routine nowdays. We couldn't find any good spot when I told him that I haven't been to Marina Bay Sand. So he make my wish come true.

The place was tremendous! It was damn beautiful. We took a lot of pictures there. I didn't feel the least tired at all instead I had fun. Seeing the beautiful scenery, walking side by side with bestie and yes, taking pictures. We talk along the way talking about stupid jokes, sharing my days at work and more. I never get bored spending time with him. Seriously I would like to thank him for the most memorable outing with him.

Moving on to today! So nothing much happened today at school. Just had fun as usual. Stupid jokes, criticizing some boy in our school. Sharing thoughts with one another. What could be better? Laughing my ass out the whole day. So after school, I meet HIM. As usual walking side by side, talking non-stop. Writing, scribbling stupid stuff inside my book. Nothing much to do. But we had a small fight just now and silence is what we did all the way till I waited for my train. When it was left 2 mins, I wanted to shook hands with HIM before saying goodbye. He then hug me and apologize to me. I said the same thing too and hug him real tight. Even though we're not official yet. But its hard for me to let him go. I just can't. I don't usually say the word "Love" to HIM. Even he have difficulties to pronounce it.

To HIM, saying the word "Love" every single day would get boring and there won't be much excitement. As for me, saying the word "Love" to my partner every single day is just a waste of time. Actually not exactly but my point is: Why must you say it but there's no action put to it. Yes I admit that I have the urge to tell HIM "I love you" not only me but HIM too. But its common and he's just scared that our love towards each other would fate and I don't want that to happened.

Ps: Bestie, I'm sorry I didn't catch a movie with you cause I watched it before thus I'm with HIM. I hope you'll understand. I'm sorry. Hope you'll forgive me.. :(

Labels: That small misunderstanding.

LinaLEE(AnaTAZURA)

Bestie!

Hey supp!! Actually I wanna post on Saturday but I'm too tired to even do anything! Alright so this is what happened on Saturday:

Bestie participate in the YOG where he is honoured by holding the Singapore flag. Isn't that great!!! Wow! I wish I had the chance to do that but sadly I know I won't, so yeah, I know I should shut the Fcuk up and continue the post. So bestie told me that supposing he finish at 12pm but end up he was dismissed at 12.47pm. I only have to wait 40Min's and bestie felt guilty. Surprise I am, the first guy to have that kind of reaction too. Awwww.. How sweet. And he rush to grab his bag to call me. When actually I'm taking my own sweet time at my store. Hahahaha! I know I'm bad.

So after we met, we find a place which is quite shady for us to sit and just talk. Talk about a lot of stuff. Well mostly are nonsensical while the others are just cam whoring(My favourite thing to do.) We walk at the Esplanade, pass by the Fullerton hotel, talk craps again. Then bestie thought me a lil bit of history! Then talk crap again till 2.30pm then we took the train at Raffles. Seriously I had fun! Thanks bestie for the treat! Heehs!

After we separated, I have to pick him up near Forum. For a moment I almost got lost. But nah I didn't. Well this time I waited like more than 30mins I guess. When he arrived, he was all smiling and stuff. And at the same time he apologies to me for being late. Then he treat me to eat at Mac Donalds FIRST. Actually just 2 big fries. Then we walk all the to Taka just to Window shopping. Then back to Woodlands Causeway to catch a movie, Eclipse. Before that we eat AGAIN at Banquet! Haiyo. Now I know he's stomach is like a tank. After the whole event. We drop at CCK Lrt and we walk all the way to Teck Whye LRT, and we talk some things.. Awwww.. It was quite sweet and meaningful actually. I just can't describe in words. Seriously, I'm just speechless. Sometimes, you don't have to come out with a sum of money with the ones you love. By just spending time, walking towards nowhere with the ones you love and talk things which is never ending is really enough. And that's where you know that he really loves to spent time with you.

Labels: That meaningful talk ♥♥

LinaLEE(AnaTAZURA)

At last pictures been uploaded! The times that I when to club. Oops! Well it took me sometime for the pictures to upload because of someone. Woot woot~ Peace Azura. You know its you, so don't deny ok? Alright right now, I'm happy schooling at ITE CCK but I'm still not comfortable with the people there. I don't know how many FCUKING times I have to repeat that SOME of the guys are still immature. If that part is put aside, I actually like the school. With new facilities around. So yeah. I miss Faz a.k.a Zac cause that bloody idiot never come to school today. She told me she has high fever and stuff. Well get well soon alright! See you on Mon. Aisah on the other hand came to school but halfway she went and meet her hubby since her hubby didn't come to school.

Actually I'm quite concern with Aisah as I'm scared if she will ditched us. Cause slowly and truthfully speaking, you are. I don't wish to said it here, but my heart can't stop my hands from typing. I understand that she just experience her 1st love. But then you can't be always be with her hubby. Don't you want to spent time with your friends too? Like you always advice on me, don't put too high hopes on the guy, cause you'll get hurt sooner or later. But you're doing it. You've changed Aisah you really did. But not because of your attitude, but you're slowly fading. You know I keep thinking, whether I should type this or not, thinking if you had the wrong impression of me. I know how much you love your hubby. And Your hubby loves you alot too. But, sometimes, in a relationship, give a gap. Leave some space to breathe! Even your hubby spend times with his friends too. Try to make it balance you know. You spend time with your hubby at the same time you spend time with us. I miss the times, we laugh together, the times we gossip together in a group. We don't feel the same without you. Just stop denying that you're still there with us. I'm sorry if it hurts if you're reading this but you're not there in our conversation most of the time. You keep yourself shut. And I miss you...

Moving on to my little brother. Most of the people here knows how much I love him, cherish him, treated him, pampered him and all those bullshit and stuff. So right now, I think its too damn much already cause he's slowly stepping onto my head without realising anything. I'm heartbroken with his attitude and I just don't know what to do. Now the thing is, I've helped him before by using my name for his Starhub bill. He promised me to pay every single month since he got the job. 1st month, the letter came, I ask him to pay, he told me he will. 3 weeks after that, I ask him again, he didn't pay up. Till now, the bill is rising! Worst still, the other day he lost his phone with that bloody sim card line he's using! I told him, to cut off the line before anyone use it. He told me he cut off. But this time I don't trust him, I wanted to call, but trying to find the right n.o to dial and check.

Now, I got a warning letter from Starhub asking to pay the bills. This time, the letter I keep as dad told me too. Oh yeah, dad saw the letters first and ask me. At first I was reluctant to tell, but in the end I share it with dad. I just couldn't take it anymore. I just feel like I've been stabbed. Seriously I thought he is my only hope. But I guess none of my siblings I could trust nor share my problems. I rather keep quiet and do my own things. Seriously, he have let me down in such a way I could breakdown. He treat this so slowly and so relax like as if that bill was never meant about him. I told dad that I'm not going to pay the bill then dad replied

"Who ask you to pay. Let him pay. Till when you're going to pampered him?"

I told dad that I'm not gonna pay even if it takes me to go to jail or what so ever. If he really wants me to go to jail, then go ahead. It shows me that he's been using me from the start. Seriously what such dilemma I had this week. FML.

Labels: Boncz be my guardian angel and guide me through this SHIT.

LinaLEE(AnaTAZURA)